“The Reg” tells us that the government has produced a five-thousand word report on how to use the web-service, Twitter. Now, is it just me, or is this really just a waste of everyone’s time and money? I am hoping that it’s a mistake: maybe the guy who obeyed ‘Can you go get me a longue weight?’ didn’t see this one coming either.

However, I doubt that we are that lucky. I assume that the government already has guidelines for everything regarding public discipline and open speaking. ‘Admit nothing, look positive, tell them nothing’. So, what can be left that might fill a five-thousand word report on Twitter? Are there similar reports on every other potential publishing platform?

Before telling me that I am naive and that new channels must be properly considered and de-risked (yuk) before starting, I would say this: Where is the central, done by professionals, reviewed and signed government policy on public interface, or even, public interface on the web? Yes I can see twitter has some unique points, but the fundamental features are the same as every other web service: organic growth, immediate publishing to a global audience, viral spreading of links/reference… Need I go on? It’s not new nor is it different in what it achieves – it just does it successfully.

Perhaps this is filed right next to Remember to Look Before Crossing the Road and Don’t get Caught Short with your Secretary. It alarms me that the organisation has time for these things. Either the government has gone mad trying to be modern, fulfiling itself with every cliché going in order to seem more hip or they are so over-staffed that there was literally nothing else to do.

Nothing else to do… Perhaps more correctly nothing else they can be bothered to do, or nothing else they can see to do. It’s the only government we’ve got – I don’t mean to completely undermine it – but where are they on the important things? A few more people writing 5000 word reports on trivia and we’ve a good team for tackling world poverty, liberty and the fattening of the ozone layer. In my opinion, even treating these things in theory would be better than considering the best method of posting to Twitter.

This pot-bellied pig will only taste right after all the fat has been rendered away.

(Published on my blog, Twitter and Facebook)